Dotty has been cagey the last few days which concerns Nora and Wilma. Her behavioural problems were worrisome. It was time to visit her.
Dotty peered out of her spare bedroom cum office window and saw her two friends approach with a decided force in their step. She quickly powered down her computer and rushed to the front door to greet them.
“Good morning Nora and Wilma. Did I invite you for tea?” She asked with a frown.
“Yes you did. Oh no, don’t tell me you’ve forgotten.” Wilma winked at Nora.
Dotty put her hand to her temple. She couldn’t remember. “Come in and I’ll put the kettle on.”
They followed her into the bright kitchen. Wilma studied Dotty’s face. Something was… well, different.
“What have you done to your face? Have you had Botox? Your wrinkles have sort of disappeared.”
Dotty laughed. “I’m glad you’ve noticed. I’ve discovered this amazing cream. “
“You have!” Nora and Wilma asked in unison.
Dotty rushed to the bedroom and fetched her latest wonder. “Look at this – a miracle cream of note.”
Nora grabbed the tube from her and read aloud, “Rejuvenating Care.” She turned the tube over to read the instructions. “This print is too small for my eyes, you read it Wilma.”
Wilma studied the tube at arm’s length. “Dotty lend me your glasses please, I can’t read this either. It amazes me how these cosmetic firms come up with highfalutin ideas for the elderly and the bloody print is so small we can’t read it.”
“It’s obvious why, isn’t it?” Nora asked.
Dotty shook her head and pursed her lips. Miss Negativeness at it again. She grabbed the tube from Wilma’s hand. “It’s simple. You dab a bit on your face and within five minutes the wrinkles disappear. Look at me, I’m a testament of a great product. Why are the instructions so important?”
“Because it might have super-glue elements or other poisonous ingredients,” Nora chimed.
“Bollocks Nora. This lasts for twelve hours. Super-glue lasts forever.” Dotty retorted.
They sat in silence and drank their tea, each one with their own thoughts. Finally, Nora spoke. “We’re worried about you. We think you ought to pay a visit to Dr. Hinderskop. Depression is curable you know.”
Dotty put her head back and cackled. “Depression. What makes you think I am depressed? On the contrary, I’ve never been so happy and excited in my life.”
“Aw shucks, this is serious,” Wilma mumbled. It’s that damn autobiography she writing.
Dotty blurted, “I’m going on a blind date.”
“What!” Nora and Wilma screeched, saucer eyed.
“Don’t be surprised. It’s normal at our age. I’ve joined an internet dating site. There are some sexy looking men that will even get your hormones doing the tango. And do you know, I’ve had so many ‘hits’, they’re fighting over me.”
“This is preposterous. You cannot be serious. Have you any idea what type of dirty old men lurk cyber space? It’s far too dangerous,” Wilma slapped the arm of the chair. “You will get yourself murdered and your body thrown into Southampton harbour.”
Nora, absolutely gobsmacked, shook her head in disbelief. Poor Dotty really needs help.
Dotty, agitated, stood and collected the tea tray. She knew she shouldn’t have mentioned her plan. When she returned to the sitting room Wilma asked, “Who is your date?”
“Purdy… Purdy McFuddell. A lovely Scot. Come into my office and see his photograph. You’ll love him.”
“Purdy, who names their child that?” Nora asked.
“It’s a nick name silly. His real name is Erskine Patrick – Purdy for short,” Dotty said, proudly.
Nora noticed an old passport photograph of Dotty lying on her desk. “Is this the photograph you sent him?”
“As a matter of fact it’s my profile picture.”
“That was taken twenty years ago,” Nora screeched.
“No-Ra, is this a photograph of me or not?” Dotty shoved it toward her.
“Well yes it is you, but…”
“Then what is your problem?”
Wilma rolled her eyes. She asked Dotty how she got onto this ‘dating website’ and how it worked. Dotty explained she paid a nominal membership fee to join: uploaded her photograph and detailed her interests. “It’s so easy, and I strongly recommend you two join as well. It’s such fun and you meet so many men.”
Nora screwed her nose, “Not for me, thanks. It’s too dangerous.”
“Well yes, I understand that coming from you Nora. Your ambition is Mr. Harris at No. 52, with his wrinkled knees.” Dotty sarcastically replied.
“I suppose you are going to tell me Purdy doesn’t have wrinkled knees. How old is he anyway?” Nora asked.
Wilma giggled, “Probably some young stud in his thirties, knowing Dotty.”
“As a matter of fact Wilma,” Dotty placed her hand on her hips, “He is fifty-four. He is well established: has never been married and owns a business. Are you satisfied now?”
“Humph, he probably pimps grannies,” Nora replied.
Dotty ignored her comment. Her two friends were so boring that they’re prime candidates for a shrink.
Wilma scratched her temple, a frown on her face. “The rejuvenating cream you bought – you have taken into consideration it only lasts for twelve hours before your wrinkles reappear. What time is your date?”
“Yes, I know all that –what’s that got to do with timing?” She asked impatiently.
“What happens if you really like this man. And then, you know, you decide to invite him home – which I am sure you will.” Wilma tried to choose her word wisely without offending Dotty. “And then, when he wakes up with you beside him the following morning, won’t he get a fright when he realises he’s been conned by a prune?”
“What a stupid question Wilma,” Nora stated. “She’ll set the alarm clock and push him out the house before that happens.”
“Yea, like Cinderella, except she left her glass slipper behind.”
Dotty was not amused.